


after all these years

by fullhaesuns



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, angst winwin, idk when i’ll update this, in no way am i implying winwin is actually like this, it’s a work of fiction lol, nct - Freeform, non-au, non-canon, not an au, sad winwin, yuwin, yuwin au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:36:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullhaesuns/pseuds/fullhaesuns
Summary: it was a normal day in the nct dorm, the mood was very tense. despite the tension in the room, sicheng couldn't help but feel completely irritated. his mouth was dryer than a sandbox in summer, and he was very pissed because of the very man standing before him, nakamotoyuta.yes, nakamoto yuta, he was perfect in every way. his smile, his talent his hobbies, his shape, his everything. but the only difficulty was that yuta didnt feel anything for him. the only problem was that yuta didn’t share the same feelings sicheng harbored towards himor at least that’s what sicheng thought. he just convinced himself that he was overthinking it today, that today was one of days where his heart ached, empty. he was very dull and inattentive to everything taking place around him, lost in his thoughts just like any other day.





	after all these years

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter: @/ fullhaesuns

when sicheng first became a sm trainee, his eyes darted around the massive building, his heart was beating in anticipation. simultaneously, his heart was beating like a wild animal stuck in a cage. it was all because he felt like a foreigner in this country that he didn’t know how to communicate in; anyways, he convinced himself that he could cope with it. he tightened his hold on his bag, and entered the building, his steps slow and mechanic. well, that’s pretty much how it started.

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being a foreign trainee wasn’t easy, the language barrier caused many miscommunications and mistakes, and some days sicheng would regret being there. he didn’t have to, or he shouldn’t have to when he tries so hard, but he can’t help it. insecure thoughts were always part of sicheng from the beginning. that day, he meets a boy who goes by the name nakamato yuta. the boy adorned a charming smile, his features sharp, handsome and mature. he held his hand towards sicheng, shaking it warmly, a gesture of their future friendship.

.  
.  
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it was complex trying to figure his infatuation with yuta, why his heart would always thrum under his skin everytime this certain trainee would talk to him despite the differences in their cultures and languages.

in their lunch time, amongst all of the trainees, yuta would take a seat next to him and eat beside him. at first, they didn’t talk much since yuta was a bit lagging in korean (not as much as sicheng) and the chinese male didn’t know how to hold a proper conversation in korean. however, despite all of that, the silence between them soon became comfortable. maybe a bit awkward, but still comfortable enough.

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.  
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obviously, sicheng knew that yuta put an effort into befriending him and the other foreign trainees at sm. yuta’s effort and determination always amazed him, he always wondered why yuta would try to communicate with him using the translating machine despite the funny answers the thing gave them, but it did earn them a couple of laughs. yuta’s smile shone bright, sicheng also learnt that he seemed to like yuta’s smile most of all.

 

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.  
.

 

“that’s it for the day guys,” taeyong groans, and the rest sigh in relief as they chase their water bottles in thirst. expect sicheng who keeps on repeating the same move all over again, his eyes fixated on his stiff reflection, his eyebrows drew together in frustration. 

he just couldn’t get the move right, and it frustrated him. he needed to get better and stop dragging the excelling members with him too, and he had to prove himself. his eyebrows crease even further, and he doesn’t notice taeyong who pats him on the shoulder, “don’t stay too long sicheng-ah” 

sicheng robotically nods and the music is on again, his brian afloat as his body moves along the choreography. 

“sicheng,” yuta bursts into the practice room, startling sicheng. 

“hey,” sicheng replies, walking towards the speakers so he can shut them off. “why are you here, it’s… pretty late” 

“i know, i was worried about you” yuta responded simply, and sicheng’s eyes widen.

“oh- okay.. okay then,” sicheng shuts his eyes, his vision getting a bit blurry.   
by then yuta walks closer, until their chests are bumping, and sicheng is supported by the wall. his heart was beating erratically, his thoughts shaking with their intimacy. 

yuta’s eyes gleam and they narrow, “are you okay?” it was such a simple question, with a complicated answer. 

yes.. maybe.. maybe not.. 

“yes i am,” it came out robotically enough to not satisfy yuta.

“listen sicheng,” yuta started, “you could always come to me if you’re going through a hard time, i know that training is hard and i believe you can do it… please don’t overwork yourself” yuta frowned, he layed his hand on sicheng’s forehead, he then held sicheng from his wrist. sicheng was still unable to respond, “there’s this new restaurant that’s open close by, let’s try it come on you have to eat you’ve been practicing for too long,”

yuta was like the stars, something sicheng would admire from afar because he couldn’t, never , reach them. yuta was his light, and he didn’t mind it. maybe training wouldn’t be that bad, with that reassurance maybe sicheng didn’t feel like his world was breaking apart.

.  
.  
.

on the day of their debut, sicheng sat on his bed racking his brains, his head pounded and his throat felt parched. but sicheng stayed there, laying his head on the pillow, hoping no one would walk into him. 

he thought about training, then he thought about his family at china which he had left a long time ago. his friends and the impossible promises they etched on the trees, his mother in the kitchen cooking xiaolongbao, his father who sat in their backyard under the rays of the sun, his siblings, his home.

one by one, tears formed at his eyelids, making them heavy. sicheng blinked the tears away, trying to wipe them with the end of his sleeve but they continued to roll down his cheek, so he stopped trying. his breath was ragged, his thoughts rushing into his head. the stress and pressure of a debut was piling up against him. he was happy he finally got to showcase his talent, but he didn’t think he deserved it, the insecure thoughts still haunt his brain.

yuta walks in, because that’s the only thing he can do, his hand on the doorknob without knocking on the door. he calls out, “hey sicheng we’re celebrating why aren’t you in the-“ his eyes lay on the said boy and he rushes to sicheng’s side, eyes widening in something between worry and understanding. sicheng blinked his tears away, wiping them away with his sleeves to no avail. 

yuta kneeled beside him on the bed, “winwinie, sicheng, what’s wrong?” yuta asked with that pure heart of his, with the beautiful heart that could blossom into a flower.  
funny how he didn’t run away, funny how he didn’t leave winwin alone but rubbed circles on sicheng’s knuckles. 

yes, something wrong. sicheng is wrong, he doesn’t deserve this kind friend of his who cared about him. neither did his friend deserve a fool who was in love with him, did he? yuta wrapped his arms around sicheng’s shoulders, enveloping the smaller in a tight hug. sicheng’s body was wracked with sobs, to the extent that he didn’t know why he was crying. yuta held him, whispering soothing comments into the other’s ears, his voice warm against sicheng’s ear, tickling him. 

“please.. please don’t let go,” whispered sicheng, his voice an inch away from breaking down. 

so yuta followed, he held the crying male in his arms till god knows when.


End file.
